I just made out with a guy for $7.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Two words: blizzard sex
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
