plz talk dirty to me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You may now shotgun with the bride
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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