So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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