no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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