'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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