she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
