Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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