Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
