I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
