Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
