i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
