guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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