he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
