We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
