Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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