I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize