It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
