I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize