Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
