Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize