can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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