Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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