Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
