Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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