we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
