Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
