Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
