Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you will always have a special place in my vag
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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