He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
