their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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