So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
