Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
