my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
