I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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