Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
