So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize