we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
