it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
