the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize