Already got asked if we're dating
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
