I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just gift wrapped bread.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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