hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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