WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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