What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
