There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
wow bdsm is so cute
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