My brain says no but my pants say off.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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