your thong is hanging out like whoa
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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