you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
