How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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