Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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