I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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