So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
