Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
