yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
