I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize