so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
