a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize