did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
