I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Pants 0. Shit 1.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
