Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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