I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
