Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
