Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
