Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
