Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
