Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
