People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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