He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize