How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
