I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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