i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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