He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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